Realising mum needs help
Sarah never imagined she’d be the one looking for care. Not for herself, but for her mum, Margaret—a fiercely independent 82-year-old who still referred to herself as “just getting on a bit.” For a long time, Margaret had been managing perfectly well in her little bungalow on the outskirts of Ashford. She’d always taken pride in her independence, insisting she didn’t need anyone’s help and certainly not a carer.
But recently, Sarah had started to notice the little things. And then the little things became harder to ignore.
The Subtle Signs Something Was Changing
It started with small, almost dismissible things: the unopened post piling up by the door, the food in the fridge a week past its use-by date, a forgotten appointment. Sarah gently offered to help—“Shall I do your shopping this week, Mum?”—but Margaret would just smile and shake her head. “I’m fine, love. Don’t fuss.”
But Sarah wasn’t fussing. She was worried. The tipping point came one evening when Sarah popped round after work and found her mum confused about what day it was. Margaret had always had a sharp mind, but that night she’d been unusually vague, even anxious. It left Sarah lying awake that night, the seed of concern now deeply rooted.
The Guilt and the ‘Should I Be Doing More?’ Question
Like many adult children, Sarah felt torn. She had her own life—two teenagers, a job, a home to run. But her mum had always been there for her, and the thought of Margaret struggling alone filled her with guilt.
She spoke to her brother, who lived in Manchester. “I’m sure she’s fine,” he said. “Just getting older, that’s all.” But Sarah knew what she was seeing, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something needed to change.
Still, she hesitated. Bringing in help for mum felt like a betrayal. Would her mum think she didn’t trust her anymore? Would it hurt her pride?
When Concern Turns Into a Plan
A few weeks later, Sarah popped in again and found her mum sitting on the stairs, unable to get back up. She hadn’t fallen—thankfully—but she was clearly shaken. That was the moment Sarah realised she couldn’t delay the conversation any longer.
That evening, Sarah sat down with her husband and said the words out loud for the first time: “Mum needs help. Proper help.”
Starting the Search
Not knowing where to start, Sarah did what most of us would do—she Googled “mum needs help”. She was overwhelmed. Live-in care, visiting care, personal assistants, agencies, direct payments—suddenly she was in a whole new world of care terms and confusing options.
Eventually, she found Care in Kent, a local company offering personalised, private home care. The tone felt right—friendly, reassuring, discreet.
The First Call
With her heart in her throat, Sarah made the call. “I don’t even know what I need yet,” she admitted to the woman on the other end of the line. “I just know something has to change.”
The response was warm, calm, and understanding. They didn’t rush her. Instead, they asked about her mum—her routines, her personality, her needs—and offered to arrange a no-obligation home visit.
For the first time in weeks, Sarah felt like she could breathe.
This Is Just the Beginning
This first step—making the call—wasn’t the end of Sarah’s worries, but it was a beginning. She wasn’t alone anymore. And soon, her mum wouldn’t be either.
In Part 2 of Sarah’s Story, we’ll follow Sarah as she introduces the idea of care to her proud, independent mum—and navigates the tricky balance of support and sensitivity.
Could This Be You?
Are you in Sarah’s position—starting to worry that your parent might need a little help? You’re not alone, and you don’t need to have all the answers right away. At Care in Kent, we understand how overwhelming it can feel, and we’re here to guide you through each step.
Get in touch today to speak to one of our friendly team members. Whether it’s a quick chat or a more in-depth conversation, we’re here when you’re ready.
Helpful Resources
- NHS Guide to Social Care and Support: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/
- Age UK’s Advice on Independent Living: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/
Facebook Caption:
💬 “I don’t even know what I need yet. I just know something has to change.”
If you’ve had that thought about a parent or loved one, you’ll relate to Sarah’s journey. In the first part of our blog series, follow her as she recognises the early signs that her mum needs help—and takes the first brave step.
📖 Read Part 1: When Mum Needs Help – Sarah’s Story
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